We'd talked here and there at boss meetings, but it was all business, and we clashed a lot. But yeah, at that point we finally wound up working together again, and one thing led to another, and... I don't know. It's like we never split up in the first place. Something about our techniques just clicked, and suddenly she was always smiling at me...
[HE FULL WELL KNOWS HE DID A BAD. And yet somehow got away with it. He is the luckiest idiot in the world.]
But she was crying, and saying it was her fault, and that she should leave me alone... I couldn't just sit there. At least if she got mad and hit me for it, she'd be upset with me instead. I hated the idea of losing her over something so wrong.
You confessed by kissing her after what sounded like intense emotional trauma, while she was blaming herself for something bad that happened to you. You had one date, at her house of all places. And then you asked her to marry you. You're also refusing to give me the timeframe this all happened in, so I'm pretty sure the answer to that is going to be pretty damning as well.
You understand why I'm a little concerned by this, right?
[She has to take a moment, and honestly... That pause is probably pretty damning on its own. But she really does have to think.
The amnesiac who first woke up in Takshaka's dorms with no memories... would have said yes without a second thought. That's what the logic points to, and nice things just don't happen. Nothing works out so nicely like it's a storybook. As for who she was before... Aiya would have said no, of course not. Not because she really believed him, but because confrontation is scary, and she doesn't actually know Kirito that well yet.
On the other hand, by now, she's changed. She understands herself, and feelings a bit better, though she's still not great. And she's more willing to try to connect with people. She tries to understand people now, and make friends. And, well... The real question here, underneath everything is 'does she trust Kirito'.]
... I don't. I don't think you're the kind of person to pressure someone like that. Even accidentally, you seem devoted enough that you would have noticed if something was wrong, I hope.
It's more likely I'm just missing some details here. Something that makes it... not like that.
[She's going quiet there, waiting for him. There has to be something he can fill in here to prove her point.]
[He's quiet for a long moment at that, mulling over her words. A year ago, when he was still fresh out of SAO, the fear she'd suddenly instilled in him would have stuck like glue, and he wouldn't be able to shake it until he saw Asuna again and could ask her directly. Nightingale had some good points- it had been emotional, and he'd acted impulsively, out of desperation to keep her close to him before he could potentially lose her forever. The person he'd been back then had been weak and pathetic, doubted everything, closed himself off from the world selfishly, to protect himself.
But he wasn't the same person anymore. And before he lets himself drown in fear and doubt, he thinks about the time that's passed since- all those months free from the game, seeing her day after day, finding ways to make her smile, letting her pull him out of the stupid unnecessary shell he'd built up over the years for no good reason.
Pathetic as he is, Asuna isn't the sort of person who would stay with him out of pity or some sense of responsibility.]
Marriage... in that world... it's different. When you get married there, your partner sees everything. Your stat window. Your location. Inventory and money is shared. Supplies are ridiculously expensive. In a world where having a potion or teleportation crystal can mean the difference between living or dying, sharing an inventory is literally putting your life in someone else's hands. A proposal is... a way of telling someone that you trust them. With your very life.
[His arms tighten, hugging the box of those stupid cat shoes, just to have something to cling to. He can't worry about this. It isn't right.
Like back then, he has to trust in her choice.]
Back then... after we got married, I asked her if our relationship only existed in that world. She got so mad... she said it didn't matter if the world was real or virtual. How we felt, what we experienced there- that was what's actually real. She said she'd find me and love me on the other side, too.
[He finally lifts his head, smiling faintly; there's pain there, because god does he miss her more than ever, now. If she were here, she'd surely have set Nightingale straight far more coherently and convincingly than he ever could. All he can do is his best without her.]
I can't tell you that it wasn't a reckless thing to do at the time. But if I told you I regretted it, I'd be lying, and Asuna would definitely punch me for it. We're dating now, properly, and if we get married again, it'll be the right way, for the right reasons. But... we're both happy.
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[jesus, kirito.]
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Th-that isn't why! I just always worked solo, and she joined a guild, and she didn't need my help after that...!
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Right, right. So, a year and a half means she was already second-in-command when you talked to her next?
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[She seems to be genuinely into this story. And she doesn't believe for an instant Kirito would make the first move. Sorry dude, you're an herbivore.]
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I... well, I sort of... k-kissed her. So...
[it was meeeeeeee]
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okay, no, not really, but she does seem surprised.]
Well, that's one way of getting your point across. You don't do subtlety, do you?
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I'm just. No good with words. And I'd almost died! It was a heat of the moment thing. I thought she'd teleport me right to jail for it.
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[... says, you know, the huge lesbian. maybe not quite comparable.]
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[HE FULL WELL KNOWS HE DID A BAD. And yet somehow got away with it. He is the luckiest idiot in the world.]
But she was crying, and saying it was her fault, and that she should leave me alone... I couldn't just sit there. At least if she got mad and hit me for it, she'd be upset with me instead. I hated the idea of losing her over something so wrong.
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[i mean, what else can she say here. a girl who hated him was crying and traumatized and so he kissed her. and it worked.
seriously, kirito, what the fuck is your life.]
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Hah, I guess. Even I don't understand it, really. I mean, she even said yes when I said we should get married.
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How... How old are you again...?
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....
BRB REALIZING WHAT HE JUST SAID]
W-wait, wait, I can explain- marriage in the virtual world is different from real life...!
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[the judgement is almost palpable.]
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HE NEEDS A TELEPORTATION CRYSTAL TO ESCAPE THIS VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION IMMEDIATELY
SHIT]
D... dinner at her house counts as a date, right...?
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I'll count it, but that was not what I asked.
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Deep breath.
Be brave, Kirito.]
Then. One date!
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One date.
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Yes. One date. We had dinner.
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You confessed by kissing her after what sounded like intense emotional trauma, while she was blaming herself for something bad that happened to you. You had one date, at her house of all places. And then you asked her to marry you. You're also refusing to give me the timeframe this all happened in, so I'm pretty sure the answer to that is going to be pretty damning as well.
You understand why I'm a little concerned by this, right?
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....
....
Excuse him for a minute, he needs to be utterly horrified for a while.]
Y-you think... she said yes... because of that...?
[internal screaming]
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The amnesiac who first woke up in Takshaka's dorms with no memories... would have said yes without a second thought. That's what the logic points to, and nice things just don't happen. Nothing works out so nicely like it's a storybook. As for who she was before... Aiya would have said no, of course not. Not because she really believed him, but because confrontation is scary, and she doesn't actually know Kirito that well yet.
On the other hand, by now, she's changed. She understands herself, and feelings a bit better, though she's still not great. And she's more willing to try to connect with people. She tries to understand people now, and make friends. And, well... The real question here, underneath everything is 'does she trust Kirito'.]
... I don't. I don't think you're the kind of person to pressure someone like that. Even accidentally, you seem devoted enough that you would have noticed if something was wrong, I hope.
It's more likely I'm just missing some details here. Something that makes it... not like that.
[She's going quiet there, waiting for him. There has to be something he can fill in here to prove her point.]
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But he wasn't the same person anymore. And before he lets himself drown in fear and doubt, he thinks about the time that's passed since- all those months free from the game, seeing her day after day, finding ways to make her smile, letting her pull him out of the stupid unnecessary shell he'd built up over the years for no good reason.
Pathetic as he is, Asuna isn't the sort of person who would stay with him out of pity or some sense of responsibility.]
Marriage... in that world... it's different. When you get married there, your partner sees everything. Your stat window. Your location. Inventory and money is shared. Supplies are ridiculously expensive. In a world where having a potion or teleportation crystal can mean the difference between living or dying, sharing an inventory is literally putting your life in someone else's hands. A proposal is... a way of telling someone that you trust them. With your very life.
[His arms tighten, hugging the box of those stupid cat shoes, just to have something to cling to. He can't worry about this. It isn't right.
Like back then, he has to trust in her choice.]
Back then... after we got married, I asked her if our relationship only existed in that world. She got so mad... she said it didn't matter if the world was real or virtual. How we felt, what we experienced there- that was what's actually real. She said she'd find me and love me on the other side, too.
[He finally lifts his head, smiling faintly; there's pain there, because god does he miss her more than ever, now. If she were here, she'd surely have set Nightingale straight far more coherently and convincingly than he ever could. All he can do is his best without her.]
I can't tell you that it wasn't a reckless thing to do at the time. But if I told you I regretted it, I'd be lying, and Asuna would definitely punch me for it. We're dating now, properly, and if we get married again, it'll be the right way, for the right reasons. But... we're both happy.
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i clicked send, dewindowed for a day, and then found out it didn't send, fuck me
oh i thought you died or something
well, that too
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1/2
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i should've saved that icon for this tag clearly
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