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[she pauses, with another low apology mumbled out, as she rubs a hand over her face again.]

I thought... I really thought it might be different this time.

[Kisses her forehead...]

I'm sorry.

[she shakes her head, more at what nightingale says than the gesture.]

It's... It's not okay, but - you don't have to be.

... I know. But you're hurting.

[just. keeps petting her hair.]

...I just want him back.

[she shifts until her knees are pressed to her chest, almost protectively.]

[That just gets her to hold her a little closer.]

... I know.

I just... I want all of this to be over. I'm tired of getting attached to places like this, where they leave all the time. I miss Silver and Aoko, I miss...

[Quickly, she scrubs at her eyes again.]

I-I miss everyone. I'm sorry. I should be used to it by now, but I just... I really cared about him.

[She shakes her head.]

I don't think it's possible to get used to this. I miss them too.

...I just wish we could leave together. I wish neither of us had to deal with this. I hate this, I...

[She takes another breath in, running a hand through her hair to try and calm herself down.]

... I know.

[but she pulls away to look right into Opal's eyes.]

But... Even if we can't leave together, even if we get separated, I promise, I will find you again. I won't let us be separated for long.

[upon realizing what she's saying, she reaches to take one of nightingale's hands. her first thought is 'please don't leave me', but it sounds childish even to her, and she takes a moment. she can't stop the few tears that leak out of her eyes.]

I don't want to lose you, too. How do you know you won't... How do you know you'll even remember?

Because I love you. Nothing can ever take that away.

[it's cheesy, but she genuinely means it...]

They can. They already have. [She thinks of Kitty.] I love you, I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone before, but that doesn't... Sometimes that's not enough to fix everything.

I know. And I won't let it.

I love you. You... Meeting you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to be with you forever. So I'll make that happen, as long as you'll have me.

...If you promise me that, I'll never stop waiting for you, but I don't - none of us know what's going to happen in the future. How can you know for sure we'll find a way?

I don't want... [She sucks in another shaky breath, biting her lip.] I don't want to sound like I don't trust you. I do. I love you. But I can't keep believing everything will end up fine when there's no evidence for it. More than just how we feel.

... I know. I understand. It's hard to believe in anything else when this is all we've seen for so long.

[She's going to just start stroking her hair again.]

I can't... give you any reason you'll like. But at home, love is stronger than even the gods. It will overcome anything in our way. So... I promise. Even if, when I restore my world, I have to mess it up and break it all again, I will come find you.

...He left me a message. He told me the same thing, told me he'd find me again no matter what. I know I should believe in him, believe in you, and I do, but I'm just—

[She takes a breath, wiping tears out of her eyes.]

I'm so scared. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here. You're the only one who - understands.

... I get scared, too. I think about the same thing sometimes. I don't know what I'd do without you.

But I don't plan on going anywhere. I want to be with you, always.

[she takes a breath, but then continues on.]

Every night, I lay down and think about what they would do for ratings. What better drama then splitting up two people who love each other? I don't... Sometimes it feels inevitable. That's always how it ends. That's always how it's ended for both of us.

[she gives her hand a squeeze.]

I don't want to lose you, either. But it feels like that's all that's ever happened. Do you think I'm just being paranoid?

[She pauses, but shakes her head, lacing her fingers through Natalie's and squeezing back.]

It's not paranoia. It's protecting yourself. It's all we've ever known... So of course we'll think it will happen again. And if we prepare, it won't hurt as bad.

... It does make sense. But... It hasn't happened yet.

[she breathes in, and makes eye contact for the first time.]

But what if it does? I haven't seen anyone from Kyriakos for over a year. If it takes that long or even longer for us to find each other again... What then? What if you've moved on? What if we're both - different people by then, and it just isn't the same?

[if this were a less serious moment, nightingale would take a humorous stab at herself, because seriously, when has she ever moved on from anything, ever.]

Then I'll find you again, and fall for you again.

...I love you.

[She starts with, but then pauses.]

He... told me to find someone who could make me laugh the same way he did. Is it selfish if I - I don't know if I can do that? I... [For a moment, she struggles for the words to say this.] You know how it was for me back home. Even Henry, I only knew for a few months, and I'm missing most of those memories. Kyriakos was only a few months, too, even if it felt like much longer. But Winn... I knew him for over a year. Other than you, I'd been friends with him for longer than anyone else I've ever known. I loved him. How do I just...

[Keep going, keep meeting new people while knowing this could very well be the outcome she's met with again and again?]

It's not selfish.

[She shakes her head.]

You're looking out for yourself, right? You don't want to get hurt. And... I know he didn't want you to be hurt, either. It's a hard situation, and I don't think he'd want you to not get to know anyone else, but... It's not selfish to be hurt and want to protect yourself.

I guess I just... I don't know what to do. I just want it to stop hurting. I... I don't want to forget, but I want all of this to be over.

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