Gray Nightingale (Aiya) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
experiencepoints) wrote2014-06-11 01:16 am
experiencepoints) wrote2014-06-11 01:16 am
(no subject)
Trivpos: Moving in with Yura
The memory starts with, as usual, Aiya and Yura. They're in a small apartment, and Aiya has a duffel bag over her shoulder. As opposed to her normal demeanor, Yura appears to be fussing over her...
Aiya apologizes for imposing, as Yura leads her into the apartment, and Aiya sets her bag down. She'll start paying rent as soon as she can.
It's okay, Yura assures her. More importantly, she says with a worried look, is Aiya all right? It was a really sudden call, asking to move in...
Aiya doesn't feel anything. She is dimly aware in the back of her mind that she should- At a time like this, she used to feel a horrible pit in her stomach, like nerves and stress were twisting her insides. But now, she doesn't feel a thing. Even Yura's concern for her is barely registering, seeming unreal. Why would someone be concerned for her? Still, she doesn't want to make her friend worry.
She fakes a smile, forcing the expression coming to her easily by now. Though she can't feel it, she tries her best to sound embarrassed- That's how someone should sound in her position, right? She tells Yura that it's okay, she just... Got turned down for another job. Again. Noticing Yura's expression becoming even more worried, she tried to backtrack and fix it. It wasn't because of that she moved out, she tries to assure Yura. It was just that, between dropping out of college and not being able to get a job, her parents were getting even more insufferable...
The more she talked and tried to fix it, the more concerned and worried Yura looked. She hasn't seen Yura look that worried since... elementary school, she thinks. She trails off, concern and confusion written on her face- Had she said something wrong? If rent was going to be a problem, she could call up Araj or Cove and run a dungeon for something she could sell-
She suddenly couldn't talk. Or breathe well, for that matter. It took her a moment to process that Yura had suddenly hugged her, squeezing her tightly and petting her hair. She loosens the hug after a moment, realizing she had perhaps done a little much there, but she keeps Aiya held tight. She promises everything will be okay, and Aiya can stay with her for as long as she needs. She won't need to worry about anything.
Aiya is confused by this, though she won't say it, and for a moment, she feels something- A familiar pain, a cold grip on her stomach, the terror that she's not good enough and just going to be a burden for someone she cares about. But even that fades quickly, replaced by the familiar dull apathy that permeates everything she does. She doesn't understand Yura's distress, but she half-heartedly hugs back, trying to make it seem okay.
It'll be okay, Yura mutters, though Aiya isn't sure whether she's talking to her, or herself. She'll find a way to make Aiya happy again.
Effects:
Though Aiya is completely oblivious and it never even comes close to crossing her mind in the memory, people from an outside perspective who watch the memory could probably notice very easily Yura's body language indicating she's got a huge crush on Aiya.
Overall, though, this memory is just going to reinforce to her how fucked up she was, now that she can see what happened from a perspective after she's begun to recover. She is now going to value her interpersonal relationships a lot more, being terrified of backsliding to how bad she was in this memory.
Knowing that she's a dropout who can't get a job and has to freeload off her friend, though, is going to be bad for her self-confidence. Again. At least she's aware Araj is still with them, and another name- Cove- she speaks of like another friend, but she doesn't know who that is yet. She will overall have a bit more faith in her ability to hold friendships, and be less likely to block people out. She'll just lose confidence in managing to do anything else.
The memory starts with, as usual, Aiya and Yura. They're in a small apartment, and Aiya has a duffel bag over her shoulder. As opposed to her normal demeanor, Yura appears to be fussing over her...
Aiya apologizes for imposing, as Yura leads her into the apartment, and Aiya sets her bag down. She'll start paying rent as soon as she can.
It's okay, Yura assures her. More importantly, she says with a worried look, is Aiya all right? It was a really sudden call, asking to move in...
Aiya doesn't feel anything. She is dimly aware in the back of her mind that she should- At a time like this, she used to feel a horrible pit in her stomach, like nerves and stress were twisting her insides. But now, she doesn't feel a thing. Even Yura's concern for her is barely registering, seeming unreal. Why would someone be concerned for her? Still, she doesn't want to make her friend worry.
She fakes a smile, forcing the expression coming to her easily by now. Though she can't feel it, she tries her best to sound embarrassed- That's how someone should sound in her position, right? She tells Yura that it's okay, she just... Got turned down for another job. Again. Noticing Yura's expression becoming even more worried, she tried to backtrack and fix it. It wasn't because of that she moved out, she tries to assure Yura. It was just that, between dropping out of college and not being able to get a job, her parents were getting even more insufferable...
The more she talked and tried to fix it, the more concerned and worried Yura looked. She hasn't seen Yura look that worried since... elementary school, she thinks. She trails off, concern and confusion written on her face- Had she said something wrong? If rent was going to be a problem, she could call up Araj or Cove and run a dungeon for something she could sell-
She suddenly couldn't talk. Or breathe well, for that matter. It took her a moment to process that Yura had suddenly hugged her, squeezing her tightly and petting her hair. She loosens the hug after a moment, realizing she had perhaps done a little much there, but she keeps Aiya held tight. She promises everything will be okay, and Aiya can stay with her for as long as she needs. She won't need to worry about anything.
Aiya is confused by this, though she won't say it, and for a moment, she feels something- A familiar pain, a cold grip on her stomach, the terror that she's not good enough and just going to be a burden for someone she cares about. But even that fades quickly, replaced by the familiar dull apathy that permeates everything she does. She doesn't understand Yura's distress, but she half-heartedly hugs back, trying to make it seem okay.
It'll be okay, Yura mutters, though Aiya isn't sure whether she's talking to her, or herself. She'll find a way to make Aiya happy again.
Effects:
Though Aiya is completely oblivious and it never even comes close to crossing her mind in the memory, people from an outside perspective who watch the memory could probably notice very easily Yura's body language indicating she's got a huge crush on Aiya.
Overall, though, this memory is just going to reinforce to her how fucked up she was, now that she can see what happened from a perspective after she's begun to recover. She is now going to value her interpersonal relationships a lot more, being terrified of backsliding to how bad she was in this memory.
Knowing that she's a dropout who can't get a job and has to freeload off her friend, though, is going to be bad for her self-confidence. Again. At least she's aware Araj is still with them, and another name- Cove- she speaks of like another friend, but she doesn't know who that is yet. She will overall have a bit more faith in her ability to hold friendships, and be less likely to block people out. She'll just lose confidence in managing to do anything else.