Gray Nightingale (Aiya) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
experiencepoints) wrote2016-01-31 02:24 am
experiencepoints) wrote2016-01-31 02:24 am
(no subject)
Neupos: Touch
Regained: Day 202
Eloise, board game
You're not sure when it started. You know Yura could tell you weren't comfortable with physical contact much, so she would back off a lot. After all, it's weird. Your own family doesn't touch you much, like there's a wall between you all. When your parents hold your hand, it's usually just to move you around.
The first time Yura tries to hold your hand, you wait for her to start pulling you, and you're surprised when it doesn't come. You have to ask where she wants you to move, and she looks at you in confusion. When she says nowhere, you pull your hand back obediently, and she gives you a funny look, but lets it go.
When she hugs you, you go very still, usually. You're not sure if you're supposed to hug back, or just let her, and you're too awkward to figure out what to do. So, you usually just sit there, stiff as a board. Any touch makes you too skittish to function properly, practically. Eventually, she stops hugging you so much.
But she doesn't stop entirely, and eventually, you notice something. A few things really. When she touches you, you feel... strangely warm. You're not sure what that means. Maybe she just has a high body temperature? And once you start noticing that warmth, you notice you get cold easily without it... You start dressing a bit warmer, but she still feels warm even through that. Weird.
You also notice that her touches linger a bit. When she holds your hand, pulling you along behind her, she holds on just a bit longer once you get to wherever she's pulling you. When she gets excited, she hugs you, and where before you would get stiff, lately, you accept it. Sometimes, when you're feeling particularly bold, you'll even lean into it, or try to hug back lightly. It makes you nervous, but it makes her happy, so you like to do it when you can.
Eventually, you notice that you're somehow able to handle the touches a lot more than you could before. You no longer panic when you're hugged, or pull away when she takes your hand. You'll even sit patiently sometimes and let her braid your hair- Your hair is something you like, since it looks like your mother's. So, you don't usually want anyone to touch it. But when it's Yura, you find you don't mind.
As time goes on, you find you start... wanting it more. You try to quash the feelings down. It's rude to want something like that. She's your first real friend, you can't just use her tendencies for something to comfort yourself.
Still, now, once in a while, when you're following Yura, you're the one to take her hand. The first time you do this, she looks at you in surprise, and you start to pull away, but she holds onto your hand, pulling you closer to hug you in excitement. This makes you a little bolder, and only seems to encourage her.
One time, when you're playing together at Yura's house, you'd stayed up most of the previous night studying. Your parents had approved, so you were happy, but you were so tired now... You close your eyes for just a moment. When you open them again, it's hours later, and Yura hasn't moved, and you're... Oh. You were outright cuddling her. And she's been petting your hair, and it feels so nice... You still lurch back in alarm, apologizing profusely, but she seems happy.
Even your teachers notice. When you get your next report card, there's a positive note, that you seem much happier and more confident lately, and they're very proud of you.
Your parents have a serious talk about that. You must never be arrogant. Arrogance will just make you weaker, and drive people away.
You don't touch Yura much after that.
Notes: This memory takes place around 4th-5th grade. So, still tiny children.
I was going to end it on a happy note, I swear. And then I thought about how that would end.
Regained: Day 202
Eloise, board game
You're not sure when it started. You know Yura could tell you weren't comfortable with physical contact much, so she would back off a lot. After all, it's weird. Your own family doesn't touch you much, like there's a wall between you all. When your parents hold your hand, it's usually just to move you around.
The first time Yura tries to hold your hand, you wait for her to start pulling you, and you're surprised when it doesn't come. You have to ask where she wants you to move, and she looks at you in confusion. When she says nowhere, you pull your hand back obediently, and she gives you a funny look, but lets it go.
When she hugs you, you go very still, usually. You're not sure if you're supposed to hug back, or just let her, and you're too awkward to figure out what to do. So, you usually just sit there, stiff as a board. Any touch makes you too skittish to function properly, practically. Eventually, she stops hugging you so much.
But she doesn't stop entirely, and eventually, you notice something. A few things really. When she touches you, you feel... strangely warm. You're not sure what that means. Maybe she just has a high body temperature? And once you start noticing that warmth, you notice you get cold easily without it... You start dressing a bit warmer, but she still feels warm even through that. Weird.
You also notice that her touches linger a bit. When she holds your hand, pulling you along behind her, she holds on just a bit longer once you get to wherever she's pulling you. When she gets excited, she hugs you, and where before you would get stiff, lately, you accept it. Sometimes, when you're feeling particularly bold, you'll even lean into it, or try to hug back lightly. It makes you nervous, but it makes her happy, so you like to do it when you can.
Eventually, you notice that you're somehow able to handle the touches a lot more than you could before. You no longer panic when you're hugged, or pull away when she takes your hand. You'll even sit patiently sometimes and let her braid your hair- Your hair is something you like, since it looks like your mother's. So, you don't usually want anyone to touch it. But when it's Yura, you find you don't mind.
As time goes on, you find you start... wanting it more. You try to quash the feelings down. It's rude to want something like that. She's your first real friend, you can't just use her tendencies for something to comfort yourself.
Still, now, once in a while, when you're following Yura, you're the one to take her hand. The first time you do this, she looks at you in surprise, and you start to pull away, but she holds onto your hand, pulling you closer to hug you in excitement. This makes you a little bolder, and only seems to encourage her.
One time, when you're playing together at Yura's house, you'd stayed up most of the previous night studying. Your parents had approved, so you were happy, but you were so tired now... You close your eyes for just a moment. When you open them again, it's hours later, and Yura hasn't moved, and you're... Oh. You were outright cuddling her. And she's been petting your hair, and it feels so nice... You still lurch back in alarm, apologizing profusely, but she seems happy.
Even your teachers notice. When you get your next report card, there's a positive note, that you seem much happier and more confident lately, and they're very proud of you.
Your parents have a serious talk about that. You must never be arrogant. Arrogance will just make you weaker, and drive people away.
You don't touch Yura much after that.
Notes: This memory takes place around 4th-5th grade. So, still tiny children.
I was going to end it on a happy note, I swear. And then I thought about how that would end.