Gray Nightingale (Aiya) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
experiencepoints) wrote2016-01-15 01:29 am
experiencepoints) wrote2016-01-15 01:29 am
(no subject)
Trivneg: Loneliness
Regained: Day 199
Nafuna
It's been two weeks since your parents left for Basilia. They left you some simple ground rules to follow while they were gone- Keep the house clean, no friends over, and don't go out after school. And you follow these rules perfectly.
Araj and Yura tried to get you to come out with them, but at the thought of it, you could feel a twisting in your gut. You can't disobey your parents. The idea of it is honestly scary to you. They finally agreed, but changed the routes you all walk home, walking you all the way back to your house, and taking a longer route than normal. It's not disobeying, you're still going home, after all.
And when you get inside to an empty home, like always, you try to ignore the aching feeling in your chest. You shouldn't be lonely. You have your finals coming up soon, and entrance exams for high school. You have so much to study. You're still busy, even in an empty house. And besides, it won't be much longer, and their job is important anyway. There's a monster outbreak in Basilia that needs to be taken care of... And they told you if you did well and behaved yourself, they'd come home early to celebrate.
And so you did. You followed their instructions, you did everything right. Your tests all come and go, and you aced them all.
... But after three weeks, they still aren't home.
You accept your award for having a perfect GPA, but you have to awkwardly explain to the principal that your parents are out of the country for their jobs, so they can't be there.
They called once a week, to check up on you and make sure you're following the rules. You tell them of course you are. This week, you tell them about your grades, and how well you've been studying... But you can tell even over the phone they're distracted and not paying much attention.
You don't mean to ask if they're coming home soon. You know you shouldn't ask for something selfish- They don't like that. Your breath catches, and even over the phone, you can tell you have their attention now.
"Aiya." The voice is stern with reprimand. "The situation here got worse, so we have to stay a bit longer after all."
"I understand." Is your reply, trying to force yourself to keep your emotions out of your voice. Just force yourself to sound cheerful for them. That's what they want to hear.
The call ends soon after, and you're left with a feeling of emptiness. You messed up. They're still not home, and you can't talk to your friends. You're lonely.
An ugly feeling twists itself in your gut. You're alone because you weren't good enough. They said they'd return early if you were good, and they didn't... You just weren't good enough to deserve them coming home early. It hurts, but it's the truth.
It's okay, though. If you do better, you won't be lonely. You won't be lonely anymore once you're good enough.
Regained: Day 199
Nafuna
It's been two weeks since your parents left for Basilia. They left you some simple ground rules to follow while they were gone- Keep the house clean, no friends over, and don't go out after school. And you follow these rules perfectly.
Araj and Yura tried to get you to come out with them, but at the thought of it, you could feel a twisting in your gut. You can't disobey your parents. The idea of it is honestly scary to you. They finally agreed, but changed the routes you all walk home, walking you all the way back to your house, and taking a longer route than normal. It's not disobeying, you're still going home, after all.
And when you get inside to an empty home, like always, you try to ignore the aching feeling in your chest. You shouldn't be lonely. You have your finals coming up soon, and entrance exams for high school. You have so much to study. You're still busy, even in an empty house. And besides, it won't be much longer, and their job is important anyway. There's a monster outbreak in Basilia that needs to be taken care of... And they told you if you did well and behaved yourself, they'd come home early to celebrate.
And so you did. You followed their instructions, you did everything right. Your tests all come and go, and you aced them all.
... But after three weeks, they still aren't home.
You accept your award for having a perfect GPA, but you have to awkwardly explain to the principal that your parents are out of the country for their jobs, so they can't be there.
They called once a week, to check up on you and make sure you're following the rules. You tell them of course you are. This week, you tell them about your grades, and how well you've been studying... But you can tell even over the phone they're distracted and not paying much attention.
You don't mean to ask if they're coming home soon. You know you shouldn't ask for something selfish- They don't like that. Your breath catches, and even over the phone, you can tell you have their attention now.
"Aiya." The voice is stern with reprimand. "The situation here got worse, so we have to stay a bit longer after all."
"I understand." Is your reply, trying to force yourself to keep your emotions out of your voice. Just force yourself to sound cheerful for them. That's what they want to hear.
The call ends soon after, and you're left with a feeling of emptiness. You messed up. They're still not home, and you can't talk to your friends. You're lonely.
An ugly feeling twists itself in your gut. You're alone because you weren't good enough. They said they'd return early if you were good, and they didn't... You just weren't good enough to deserve them coming home early. It hurts, but it's the truth.
It's okay, though. If you do better, you won't be lonely. You won't be lonely anymore once you're good enough.